There is help out there. If you know where to look
13 May 2017
I spent the last five years kidding myself I wasn’t ill, coming to terms with the fact it’s never going to get better. When I was diagnosed back in 2012 I treated the whole thing as a joke. MS? What the hell is that? That’s for old people surely. They are in wheelchairs and are miserable all the time.
How wrong can a person be. Most people with the disease learn over time to control it and live long and productive lives. The support offered is out there and after a bit of research it’s amazing and you find you’re not alone. I was miserable and blocked it out of my mind at first and that made me feel even worse.
Why me? Most people diagnosed are between the ages of 20 and 40. I was 48 when the first signs presented themselves. I suffered really badly with depression back in the day, tried anti-depressants, but that just made me feel numb and out of touch with reality. So I gave that up and turned to alcohol to blank out how I was feeling. This led to cannabis and then cocaine. Because of the rock and roll lifestyle I was leading it was always around and most of the money I was earning went on that. I had a great time. Just a shame I can't remember much. I get the odd flashback now and again and one day I thought to myself “I will write it all down”.
I have the occasional drink now and as for the drugs they are long gone. I've given up smoking so that’s put a stop to the cannabis. That’s not to say when and if they finally make it available as a prescribed pain killer I won’t go back to it. It does help with the pain, but I put my faith in the medication I get from the doctors and the hospital. As for the depression that’s finally under control, but is something else to battle with. I have finally found an antidepressant that works for me and I am happy now.
There are other forms of support out there, and regular exercise and a good diet are very important. Physiotherapy helps a lot and talking to others with the same condition has opened my eyes to a whole new world. The research going on around the world, not just for my condition but others as well, is amazing and something that I never thought I would be reading about. The MS Trust is a mine of information with a helpline offering great advice and support. Always there when you need them. My specialist nurse team at Kings bend over backwards to help, and again no matter what time, are there for you.
There are, however, a couple of things that could be better, but unfortunately they never will be: the side effects of my medication; the way I am treated by the DWP; that there is currently no cure, are some of the things that on a daily basis I have to live with.  But with the help and support I am getting I know I will be alright.
So don't feel sorry for me. Don’t ignore me, and smile every day. I do. 

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